Leave Myself Behind
by Chayo1197
Summary: Eiri is an American soldier stationed in Tokyo, Japan. There he meets the love of his life, Shuichi Shindou. It's better than it sounds, I'm bad at summaries
1. Chapter 1

Kitsune: Hi people. It's me, KitChan but I changed my names for reasons even unknown to me. Anyway, Im sorry for not updating my other stories. The usual computer I use broke down, so I typed up stuff again, now I broke again and I'm stuck using my crappy labtop so yeah.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation or Eiri or Shuichi. (If I did...well, let's just say it'd be crap)

Chapter 1: Enter the Unknown

The 22 year old soldier Eiri looked around the small town of Tokyo. He had been stationed here a few days earlier by his commanding officer, and to tell the truth, he was dreading it. He knew he was originally from Japan, but because he looked so American, the family friend, as well as his sister Mika's boyfriend, Tohma, took Eiri to the States with him to find a new life, away from all the prejudice. So here he was, six years later. He had enlisted in the army a year after high school and this is where it had landed him. Back in a country that hated him because of his looks, now hated him for being a soldier from the U.S.

He sighed and walked down the street, earning stares and some glares from others. Eiri would have loved to tell all of them off, but how would that make the other soldiers look? Frankly he didn't give a damn, but he needed to remain calm or else the Japanese wouldn't trust America at all and demand that the soldiers be shipped off. And what good would that do?

He kept his head down, nodding at people who acknowledged him, positive or not. _Only a little while longer,_ he thought_, then I can go home_. He smiled a little at this thought, until something caught his eye. A woman in a kimono was shoved to the ground, spilling all of her groceries that she was carrying. The two men who pushed her went unnoticed by everyone but Eiri, as they kicked and shoved the woman back and forth, then started pulling her hair. Eiri went over and caught the woman by the shoulders and glared at the men. "Move along." He growled, "Before I have you both arrested." When the two men only gawked at him, he raised his voice. "MOVE IT!" They both squeaked and scurried off.

Eiri looked at the woman in his arms closer. She was shaking a little bit, and her hair was a mess. Eiri blinked. What kind of woman dyed her hair pink? He shook her a little. "Are you alright?"

She looked up so Eiri could see the color of her eyes. Amethyst. "H-Hai. Thank y-you very much sir." Her voice was soft and quiet. Eiri had no choice but to smile warmly. "You're welcome miss." She blushed. She had no idea American soldiers were so kind, and handsome as well! She turned away from him and went to pick up her groceries. Eiri kneeled down and helped her. When everything was back in the bag, he smiled again at her. "Could I walk you home?" She blinked at this sudden offer, then blushed again. "S-Sure. I-I'd like that very much." When she stood, Eiri could see that she was very slim, as well as very flat-chested Her long hair was pulled back in a bun and looked very daring, but she was shy, Eiri smiled and linked his arm with hers. She looked at him. "May I ask your name?" "My name is Eiri Uesugi." "I'm Shuichi Shindou."

--

They walked down the quiet streets, earning whispers from passerbies. They arrived at a small traditional home. Shuichi looked back at Eiri. "Would you like to come in Eiri?" Eiri looked around the street, then at Shuichi. "Sure." He followed Shuichi into the home, taking off his shoes at the door. The house was nothing out of the ordinary. Tables held pictures of family members and friends. Then a voice from the other room floated in the air. "Shuichi, is that you?" Shuichi walked to the room and smiled at an older woman sitting at a table. "Hello mother. Oh, I hope you don't mind, I brought someone home." Shuichi scooted Eiri into the room. "This is Mr. Eiri Uesugi. He helped me this afternoon." Shuichi's mother smiled and nodded. "Hello Mr. Uesugi. My name is Isa Shindou." Eiri smiled. "Nice to meet you."

Eiri sat down and the three of them talked for a while, about the war, politics, and Eiri's family. After a while, Isa turned to Shuichi. "Shu-Chan, why don't you go make Eiri some tea?" Shuichi smiled and nodded. She got up and went to the kitchen, beaming. Isa chuckled, then looked at Eiri. "You're very special to her, that's for sure." Eiri blinked. "How d'you know that?" Isa smiled. "She hasn't smiled like that for quite some time. Since she was young, actually." Eiri sighed. "Why so long?" Isa tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "Eiri, please understand that my daughter is very different. Very special. And no one here, as you well know, accepts people who are different than they are." Eiri nodded and looked to the doorway of the kitchen. "She is special. And this may be a little fast, but I think I'm in love with her." Isa nodded. "I can see that she loves you as well." She reached out and held one of Eiri's hands. "But please promise me one thing Eiri." Eiri nodded. "Anything."

Isa nodded. "When you realize why she's special, keep her close to you. Love her with all that you are. Because when someone loves you, the pain of being different is lessened." Eiri nodded in all seriousness now. "I promise."

After a few cups of tea, Eiri announced that he should leave for the night and Shuichi insisted on walking him home. Eiri agreed and said his good-bye to Isa. She smiled at him. "Don't forget our promise Eiri." Eiri shook his head. "Never." She hugged him and watched the two walk down the street.

Eiri loved everything being in a walking distance. It made not having a car that much easier. When they arrived at the place he was staying, he turned to Shuichi and kissed her lips. He was surprised at how soft they were. When he pulled away, he saw Shuichi blush. "Mr. Uesugi?" Eiri smiled. "Please call me Eiri." Shuichi blinked, then smiled. "Eiri. I liked that very much." Eiri kissed her again. "I did too."

--

Eiri was surprised about how fast three months had come and gone. He had patrolled the city during the day and spent time with Shuichi at night. He had come to love her more and more, and when the day that he was being sent back to American came, he went to Shuichi's house and kissed her. "Come back to America with me." Shuichi's eyes widened. "America?" Eiri nodded. "We can live happily there. I can teach you English and we'll find you a job and we can get married and have a family there." Shuichi's eyes widened even more at that. Eiri stopped. "You….you don't want to come with me?" Shuichi shook her head. "No! No no no, that's not it, I want to go with you, I really do! Being with you for the rest of my life would be….wonderful." Eiri smiled and kissed her again.

Shuichi broke the kiss. "But will I be accepted there?" Eiri nodded. "Of course you-" he stopped. It was true, Americans were racist to the Japanese now more than ever. But having Shuichi there with him at home….would be the most wonderful thing in the world. Eiri held one of Shuichi's hands. "I will protect you. From everything. Because I love you." He kissed her, then looked into her eyes. "I promise." Shuichi stared at Eiri for a moment before smiling. "Alright." Eiri smiled and kissed her again.

--

A week later, they were both at the airport. Isa was there to see them off. She hugged Shuichi tight. "Be careful, and be happy." She said. Shuichi smiled and kissed her cheek. "Ashiteru mother, I'll miss you." Isa smiled and stroked Shuichi's hair. "I'll miss you too. Ashiteru." Shuichi kissed her cheek again before letting her hug Eiri. "Don't forget." She whispered. Eiri nodded. "I won't." he felt something slip into his hand. He looked at the paper and found Isa's phone number. "If anything happens, I want you to call me." She nodded at him. Eiri nodded. "Of course."

--

Kitsune: Crappy? Yes? No? Review and lemme know!


	2. Chapter 2

The plane ride was agonizingly long. Eiri wanted to get home ASAP with his new love. But after sleeping and killing the time by reading old magazines. When they finally landed, he shook Shuichi awake. The violet orbs fluttered open and looked at Eiri, who smiled. "We're here." They both walked off the plane. Shuichi looked all around the airport at families reuniting and the chaos at baggage claim, and listened to the confusing chattering.

Eiri smiled at her curiosity, but then saw the stares and glares from others because of her kimono. He even heard someone say, "Godamn Japs." He growled and practically dragged Shuichi out of the airport and to a taxi. Shuichi pressed her hands against the window and stared at the city as well as the people in it. They seemed so happy here. Could she experience that same happiness?

Soon they arrived at Eiri's apartment, and they both dragged the luggage inside. Eiri flicked on the lights and smiled. "Welcome Home Shuichi." Shuichi looked around the apartment and saw that Eiri was very simple. It wasn't crowded with stuff but very organized and clean. Eiri dropped the suitcase and wrapped his arms around her waist. Shuichi smiled and held his hands as he trailed butterfly kisses down his neck and shoulder. Eiri kissed her cheek, then let her go and held her hand and showed her the apartment. After the grand tour, they sat on the couch. Eiri laid down and put his head in her lap and she stroked his hair.

--

Eiri woke up to the sound of the phone ringing. He moaned and stretched before reaching over the sleeping Shuichi's head for the phone. "Hello?" "Eiri! So nice to hear your voice again." Eiri groaned. "Tohma, it's too early." Tohma chuckled. "I'm sorry if I woke you, but Mika wanted me to tell you that you are to have dinner with us tonight in celebration of, as she put it, you coming back alive." Eiri yawned. "I'll see if Shuichi wants to go." Tohma blinked and stayed silent for a moment. "Shuichi?" "Yeah, my girlfriend. She came back home with me from Japan." Tohma smiled. "Well Eiri, you leave this country for one minute and you have a girlfriend." Eiri smirked. "Shut up Tohma. So what time is dinner?" "At five sharp." "Alright." He hung up and stroked Shuichi's pink hair. "Hey love, wake up." Shuichi stirred and opened her eyes. "Good morning Eiri." Eiri kissed her temple. "Good morning. My brother-in-law just called. He and my sister want to have dinner." Shuichi stretched. "Alright." Eiri grinned and kissed her neck. "I'm going to make you breakfast." He jumped out of bed and went to make the greatest breakfast ever.

--

All day, the two stayed inside, still tired from the trip. Around four thirty, Eiri showered and dressed in a black and red shirt with a black jacket and pants. After Shuichi showered she dressed into a formal kimono. Eiri smiled and led her out to the taxi he had waiting.

--

The night with Tohma and Mika brought nothing unexpected. They talked about Shuichi, then about Eiri. Tohma talked about hiring an English tutor for Shuichi and Mika suggested Eiri get her some clothes to replace her kimono. As they talked, they drank as well. Eiri drank the most, having the highest alcohol tolerance. Shuichi drank only two cups.

When they got home, Eiri was very needy. He kissed Shuichi very long and deep, but still very softly. Shuichi moaned into the kiss, and wrapped her arms around him. Eiri laid her on the couch and slowly undid the top of her kimono. He kissed down her chest and….Eiri blinked. 'Chest'? He opened his eyes and looked at the flushed Shuichi's chest. There were no breasts. Eiri ran his hand over her. "You don't have…" Shuichi blinked. "What's wrong?" Eiri took off the bottom half of the kimono and touched the buldge there. "You have an erection….which means…" He threw Shuichi off the couch. "You son of a bitch!" He snarled. Shuichi's eyes widened. She'd….well…he'd never seen Eiri like this. "Eiri what's wrong?" Eiri reached out and grabbed him by the hair. When Shuichi cried out in pain, Eiri ignored it. "You little bastard, you lied to me! You said you were a girl! I could kill you for this!" He dragged Shuichi by the hair and slammed him against the wall. Shuichi started to feel faint. "Eiri….stop…please…"

Eiri punched his gut, earning a painful moan from Shuichi. "Thought you could pull this off forever! You used me to get over here, didn't you!" Shuichi shook his head. "No…Eiri, no." He cried out as Eiri kicked him in between the legs. "Don't lie you sack of shit!" Shuichi crumpled to the ground. Eiri continued the attack until Shuichi was no longer conscious, then he grabbed the boy up and walked to the corner of the street and sat him up against a trash can. Eiri spat on his pale face before walking back home, sitting on the edge of the bed and crying.

In the middle of the night, a soft knock on the door reached Eiri's ears. He got up and opened it to see Shuichi again. The blood was all over, and he was trembling harshly. A pain-filled smile appeared on his face when Eiri opened the door. "Eiri….i-it's raining outside a-and I was wondering if I-I could c-come back i-in." Eiri stared at him, his expression emotionless. Shuichi closed his eyes and slowly got to his knees and put his forehead on the cement ground, bowing to Eiri. "P-Please Eiri." There was a moment of silence before Shuichi looked up and the last thing he saw was Eiri's shoe coming at his face.


	3. Chapter 3

Shuichi woke up to a cold and rainy alleyway. His hazy eyes looked around, then down at his body. The body that made Eiri hate him. He wrapped the kimono tight around himself and sniffled. This was no better than Tokyo. But now what could he do? He didn't know English. He was lost in this confusing world by himself.

He started to cry silently. Why had Eiri called him all of those things? Why had Eiri hurt him? "He…..he said he loved me." Shuichi rasped. "**Aww, poor baby**." Shuichi looked around. "Who said that?" Two men dressed in ratty clothes stepped into the alley. "**He's cute. And what was that he was talking**?" One said. "**Sounded like Japanese**." The other said. The first man grabbed Shuichi up and smirked. "**You'll come with us."** The second man laughed. Shuichi was shaking. What where these two going to do with him?

--

Eiri woke up to again the sound of the phone ringing. He picked it up. "Hello?" "Eiri, good morning." Tohma again. Eiri rubbed his eyes. "What's so good about it?" Tohma blinked. "Eiri, what's wrong?" Eiri sighed. "Shuichi wasn't who he said he was." It took a minute for Tohma to understand. "'He?'" Eiri sighed. "Shuichi's a man." Tohma was quiet for a minute before clearing his throat. "And what happened when you found out?" Eiri laid back down. "I beat the shit out of him, naturally." "Did you kick him out?" Eiri stayed silent. "Eiri?" Eiri sighed. "Yes, I kicked him out." "Eiri…." Tohma sighed. "Where is he?" "In the most dangerous place in New York possible, I assure you." "Well Eiri, you need to know. You can't just kick him out. He doesn't know English. The least you could've done was sent him back home." Eiri scoffed. "Right. The little shit got what he deserved." "Eiri, I saw you both last night. You looked very much in love. You kiss, you hug, you fell in love with Shuichi Shindou, didn't you?"

Eiri rubbed his eyes. "Yes I did." "You didn't fall in love with Shuichi's gender. You fell in love with the person Shuichi." Eiri's eyes snapped open. Tohma was right. Love had no gender, and neither did the love for Shuichi. "I….I need to find him Tohma. I'm going to go look for him." Tohma nodded. "Wait for me, I'll be there in ten minutes."

--

Shuichi was in pain.

Not just pain. Excruciating pain.

His wrists were in pain. His stomach was in pain. His neck was in pain. His whole lower body was in pain.

And he had no one to blame but himself.

--

Eiri looked around the trashy alleyway. "I remember leaving him here." They had been searching all day around the whole city, and Eiri finally remembered where he had dragged Shuichi. Tohma went in and looked around. In one corner, he found a puddle of blood. His eyes widened. What had Eiri done? Eiri followed him and gasped at the blood. His legs gave out from under him. He covered his mouth with a shaking hand. "H-how…..could I have done this?" Tohma touched his shoulder. "He'll be ok. You'll see." Eiri let out a shaky sigh. "We need to find him." Tohma nodded, and they both went off, asking people around that area if they'd seen the pink-haired boy. One lady said she'd seen him on the shoulder of a strong looking man and his friend. She told the two blondes where, and they ran off.

About a half an hour later, they came across an abandoned building that had been trashed and destroyed beyond belief. They both ran inside and looked in every room, with no luck of finding Shuichi. Eiri sat on the floor and shook his head. "This is all my fault." Tohma smiled down at him. "Well, I'm in no condition to argue." He joked. Eiri chuckled. "Gee thanks." Tohma started to laugh when he heard something. Eiri got up and dusted himself off. "Let's go look somewhere-" he was stopped by Tohma, who put a hand over Eiri's mouth. "Shh, listen." Eiri listened carefully. After a minute, he head someone moan. Tohma's eyes lit up. "Did you hear it?" Eiri nodded. Tohma took his hand off of Eiri's mouth and charged up the stairs, Eiri close behind him. They came closer and closer to the sound, and when they found the door, Tohma had to hold Eiri back from breaking down the door. Tohma carefully creaked the door open and nearly threw up.

Shuichi laid in the middle of the room, his back to Tohma. His hands were tied behind his back with a thin wire than cut deep into his wrists, making a blood puddle. The kimono he wore the day before was gone, leaving him completely naked on the dirty floor. His back, legs and arms were covered in purple bruises and cuts. And his neck was red with finger imprints bruised on. A trail of semen and blood trailed from his butt. His once long hair was cut short and uneven.

The muscular man the woman told them about was sitting on a couch turned away from Shuichi. He seemed to be watching television. Tohma moved and let Eiri see, who had an impulse to beat the living daylights out of the man. Tohma held his shoulders and shook his head. "We have to wait." He whispered. Eiri growled. "Wait for what, him to kill Shuichi!" he nearly yelled. The man's heard twitched. Tohma covered Eiri's mouth. "Eiri, be quiet or you'll end up not nearly as bad as Shuichi." Eiri bit Tohma's hand, earning a yell from him. The man inside got up and went to the door and opened it. He raised an eyebrow. "What the hell are you two doing here?"


	4. Chapter 4

KitChan- YEARS? I seriously hate when people take years to update their stories and yet I have become one of them T_T forgive me?

Disclaimer: Gravitation? Still not mine. Meh.

* * *

Eiri scowled. "What the fuck does it look like we're doing? We're rescuing the fair maiden." Shuichi's captor threw his head back and laughed. "You two are going to rescue someone?" "Damn straight." The man's chapped lips twisted into a smirk. "I think you'd better concentrate on saving your own skins first." Before either blonde could utter another syllable they both felt the same blow to the back of their heads.

Pant…pant….pant…

_What the fuck is going on…_

_"P-Please…stop…"_

…_Shuichi?_

"I beg you…please…."

_What's going on? Why can't I see?_

"Le-Ah!...Let them g-go…."

He tried moving and found himself unable to do much but wiggle his fingers. His wrists were bound by something metal—probably handcuffs— and his arms were tied behind himself against some kind of pillar. His legs were stretched out in front of him, both asleep.

"Oh look, the knight in shining armor is awake!"

Pant…pant…pant…

"Take off the blindfold."

He heard footsteps and suddenly he was able to see. He was blinded at first by the sunlight filtering in through the window across from him. He was in the same room they had found Shuichi in, just facing a different direction.

A direction with a sight none too pretty.

The man they had first come upon was straddling Shuichi on a dirty mattress. He was thrusting roughly into the pink-haired man, his mouth slightly open as he panted and grunted. He was muscular, that was for sure. His short black hair bounced slightly as he moved quickly.

Eiri's heart ached at the sight of his love.

The muscular man's hand gripped Shuichi's face as he thrust, so he couldn't see his expression though he could imagine it. Shuichi's thin, pale body was covered in sweat and littered with purple bruises. His hands were still tied together by a thin wire, but were now above his head. He moved limply with the man inside of him.

What had Eiri done?

He had battered this angelic man and thrown him in the trash without a care. They had been together for months now though it felt like years, and Eiri had done this to him. He had put Shuichi in harm's way, and now this was happening. This innocent soul was being raped because of Eiri's ignorance. His eyes burned with tears.

There was laughter from behind him.

"What's wrong, soldier?" His hair was pulled back and his neck screamed in pain. "It's a beautiful sight isn't it? Kinda symbolic if you think about it. We killed those Japs in the war, and now we're raping their faggots too." Eiri winced.

"**Please….please let him g-go!"** Shuichi cried. Both of the men laughed. "He keeps yelling this shit in Japanese. He could be telling us to go to hell right now for all we know." The man on top of Shuichi stroked stray locks of pink away from Shuichi's face. "Then again, he could be begging for more."

He looked over, smirking at Eiri. "We'll never know I guess."

For a painful few minutes, the only sound in the room was Shuichi's cries.

The men each took turns inside of Shuichi. Eiri had no idea how long it was until Shuichi blacked out and his body moved only when prompted. He knew it was a long time though.

The sun had set by the time the men left, ruffling Eiri's hair as they locked the door behind themselves. They left a seemingly lifeless Shuichi on the mattress. Even if he did wake up, he would be too weak to do anything.

He didn't know where Tohma was. He was tied to a damn pillar, and Shuichi was knocked out.

What the hell was he going to do?

* * *

:D?


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guuuuuuuuuuuise!

I'm going to start updating a bit more, at least once a week. I am working on a couple other stories (Glee-centric) so if you like Glee check those out!

Thank you to everyone who is following and reviewing this story! Please enjoy!

Disclaimer: I still don't own Gravitation. But I did get that special edition box set. Check it out on .com!

* * *

"-ichi! Shuichi!"

He felt pain everywhere. His hands were in pain. His scalp was in pain. His face was in pain. His neck down to his toes was aching and throbbing. Through this pain he felt soft calls of his name and for a moment he thought he was dead.

"Shu, please! Please wake up!"

Eiri?

Was that Eiri calling him?

Perhaps he was truly dead then. Eiri hated him. He hurt Shuichi last night. He called him names and threw him out. He didn't love him.

"Shuichi please…"

So then who was calling him?

His eyes slid open slowly and they closed involuntarily. A soft groan escaped him. Opening his eyes only intensified the pain. Made it real. But he tried again and this time he could look around. He was lying on his side facing a window that showed him the night sky outside. From here New York seemed like a lovely place where people looked through their windows. They looked past the skyscrapers and they saw the night sky and all was well.

The wire digging into his wrists reminded him that all was not well.

"Shuichi?"

There was that voice again. It made Shuichi's heart ache. He whimpered and closed his eyes again as his chest ached with remembrance. "Shuichi it's me….look at me, please." Shuichi didn't know how he found the strength, but he used his heel to push himself onto his back and then roll onto his side. By the time he was facing Eiri he was out of breath and even more tired than before. He managed to open his eyes halfway, and he had to work on focusing on the blonde man tied up across from him. His vision kept blurring and his eyes kept rolling into the back of his head.

He was just so tired.

"Oh thank God! Shuichi, look at me, are you okay?" Why was he asking this? Last night Eiri did everything he could to make sure Shuichi was the opposite of okay. Had it only been last night? He felt like it was a lifetime ago.

"Shuichi?" Amethyst eyes rolled to Eiri and that was his answer. Shuichi wasn't okay. He had two strangers carry him to God knows where, tie him up and rape him over and over. Then for the man who had beat him to show up as well? Well that was just the icing on the cake.

"Listen to me Shuichi, I need you to see if there's a key or something around here. We need to leave before those guys come back." Shuichi stared at Eiri through fuzzy vision. Was that man crazy? Shuichi could barely keep his eyes open and Eiri wanted him to look for a key?

Still, he had loved Eiri. And it was his fault that the blonde man was here. It was his entire fault. Slowly Shuichi made himself sit up, clenching his teeth through the pain. As soon as he was upright nausea hit him and he felt sick. But he pushed himself up using his hands. His stomach flipped when the wire cut deeper into his wrist and made blood squirt from his hands. He felt himself dry heave before moving onto one knee, then standing. It was a huge feat and Shuichi knew he had to find the key before he collapsed. His legs were shaky and he felt as if he would pass out at any moment.

He slowly walked around the bare room, which was nothing more than wood and a couple pieces of furniture. He passed by the television that man had been watching and saw that Eiri's friend Tohma was unhurt and passed out on the couch. His wrists and ankles had been bound together by rope but he was still fully clothed and looked fine. The very opposite of Shuichi.

The pink-haired man continued to look for any kind of key to no avail. He finally licked his dry lips. "I…I don't see it." He rasped. Eiri bit his lip. Shuichi couldn't go for help. He was hurt, naked, and spoke not a lick of English. "See…see if there's anyone in the halls, or next door." Shuichi nodded tiredly, shuffling to the door. He turned around to ask Eiri what he should say if he should find someone, and there underneath the blonde man's bound hands lay a key. Shuichi practically tripped over himself running over. Eiri heard the quick footsteps and panicked. "What? What?" Shuichi was practically sobbing. "The key the key!" Eiri sighed in relief. Thank God. "Do you know how to unlock the cuffs?" Shuichi nodded quickly, grabbing the small key and twisting around the rope. Just as he was about to slide the key into the lock, a snap stopped him.

This unbelievable pain shot through his arms and he was frozen. Looking down he saw blood pouring from his wrists.

No…No, he had to free Eiri first. Free Eiri…

His vision became even worse and he missed the lock a couple of times before finally getting the key in and twisting it. Eiri was free. Shuichi smiled softly. Good.

Eiri slid out of the cuffs and rope, rubbing his sore wrists. "Thank you S-" He was stopped by a loud thump. Looking back he saw Shuichi crumpled on the floor, blood pooling around his hands. Eiri's eyes widened.

Shit.

The wire had cut into his vein.


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guise! Sorry for the late update but here's another chapter! Thank you all for reading, reviewing and favoriting and please enjoy!

* * *

Hearing a sickening thump, Eiri's heart started to race. He threw off the rope and the handcuffs and whipped around. Seeing Shuichi lying on his side with a pool of blood under his wrists...

"Shit." He whispered, racing over to the pink-haired man's side. He pressed the back of his right hand to Shuichi's cheek only to find it stone cold. Shuichi was paler, even more so in only the moonlight.

"Shuichi." He said softly, shaking him by his shoulders gently. When he received no response he shook a bit harder. Seeing the man's amethyst eyes flutter Eiri couldn't help but smile. "Hey…hey there." He mumbled, stroking a stray bang from Shuichi's forehead.

His amethyst eyes were glossy, and now that he was awake he started to tremble.

"H-….hurts." Shuichi rasped.

Eiri looked around, biting his lip. "Hold on." He said, pressing a kiss to Shuichi's temple before standing and looking around. Seeing Tohma unconscious on the couch he ran over and untied his wrists, pulling his blazer off and running back to Shuichi with it.

"Stay awake, stay awake Shu, okay? Stay with me." He wrapped Tohma's jacket around Shuichi's shoulders in order to try and stop the shaking. He then turned his attention to his wrists.

He needed to get the wire off of his wrists. He didn't want another vein to snap.

"Shu, I'm…" He licked his lips nervously. "I have to get this off of you, okay?"

Shuichi didn't respond, and Eiri sighed. He ripped one of his sleeves from his shirt and tore it into two pieces. He tied each piece above Shuichi's wrists tightly in order to slow the bleeding. He then moved over and pulled Shuichi's wrists gently onto his knee, examining it for a moment.

He could barely see anything under the blood but he saw where the wire began. The kidnapper had twisted it like a bow so it was going to be a pain in the ass to take off.

Carefully, Eiri searched for the end of the wire. When he found it he could have cried. "Hold on Shuichi, just hold on." He whispered, slowly starting to unwind the wire.

It took him almost ten minutes to unwind the puzzle-like knot but he did it.

He slowly peeled the metal away from Shuichi's torn up wrists and threw it to the side, releasing a breath he didn't know he had been holding. He wiped sweat from his forehead and smiled. "There, you're free."

He looked up to Shuichi's face. His heart dropped when he saw Shuichi's eyes were no longer open. He reached up and cupped the man's face in his hands gently.

"Shuichi?"

"Eiri?"

Eiri looked over and saw Tohma sitting up on the couch, rubbing his head.

Tohma groaned softly. "What happened?"

He looked over, and seeing Shuichi lying underneath Eiri, his heart skipped a beat.

"What's wrong? What happened to him?"

Eiri couldn't stop the tears streaming down his cheeks.

"He…he saved me."

Tohma jumped off of the couch and ran over, feeling Shuichi's pulse on his neck.

It was very faint, but it was there.

"Eiri we need to get him to a hospital."

Eiri nodded slowly, sliding his hands under Shuichi's neck and his knees and lifted him up gently. Tohma ran over and opened the door, confusion hitting him for a moment. Were these kidnappers seriously that dim-witted?

He patted his pockets and groaned. They'd taken his cell phone, so maybe they weren't as dumb as he thought.

"Eiri, I'll meet you downstairs, okay?"

Eiri nodded, walking as if he were carrying an egg on a teaspoon. Tohma ran down the creaking stairs and looked around for a payphone. He ran down the block, finding one and going to dial 911. He barely got the message out through his panting breaths but he felt relieved when the dispatcher said that help was on the way.

He let the phone hang off of the hook and slid down to the dirty ground, panting and trying not to sob. The sight of Shuichi's mangled wrists made him sick, and remembering them was only making his stomach turn.

He only hoped the kid would make it.

If he didn't the guilt would surely kill Eiri.


	7. Chapter 7

Short update! Sorry it's taking so long guys, I've been trying to split my time between this and my other fics. I'm going to try to update more! Thank you all for reading, favoriting and reviewing! Please enjoy!

* * *

The hospital was cold. The florescent lights seemed so much brighter now, but maybe because it was late at night. Eiri glanced to the clock above the nurses' station. 1:47. He had no idea when they'd stormed the apartment, nor how long they'd been passed out with Shuichi slowly dying on the dirty mattress only a few feet away.

Shuichi…

Eiri rubbed his eyes. This was all his fault. If he wouldn't have thrown the boy out then none of this would have happened. But it did because Eiri was so fucked up.

God he was fucked up.

He flinched when he opened his eyes and saw someone way too close. Tohma bit his lip, sighing. "Sorry." He held a hand out, holding a warm cup of coffee. "Brought you something."

Eiri stared at the cup for a moment, slowly taking it and sighing. "Thanks."

Tohma took the seat next to him, sipping his own coffee. "Any word yet?"

Eiri shook his head. "Not yet." He mumbled. He'd never been this scared. Not in the war, not anywhere else. What would he do if Shuichi died? If he never got to apologize?

He never even apologized in the apartment.

Hot tears slid down his cheeks as the realization hit him. Tohma watched him with soft eyes, saying nothing. What could he say? Nothing could make this better right now. Sure, Tohma could pull strings for favors. But this was a life. A human life. Unfortunately Tohma had no connections to the afterlife.

Instead, he reached over and rubbed Eiri's back slowly. Eiri shook his head, putting his coffee down on the floor and sliding his palms over his face. What if that had been his last chance to talk to Shuichi? What if he wasted it on saying stupid crap like 'stay with me'? He offered no words of comfort to the pink-haired man. In what might have been Shuichi's last moments of life all Eiri could say was 'stay with me'. After Eiri kicked him out of his own apartment. After Eiri beat him and spit on him and called him horrible names.

The last thing Shuichi might have heard was 'me'.

Why was it that in the hour of death, no happy memories could be found? Any other time they could be easily accessed and played in the mind. At moments like this Eiri couldn't even fathom his lips forming the syllables to say the word.

They had spent three months together in Japan. Every day after work Eiri would go straight to Shuichi's home and they would talk and laugh for hours. Shuichi would cook Eiri and his mother dinner and for those moments in time they were a family at peace. Eiri remembered their late night talks of seeing the world. All Shuichi dreamed of was leaving this town that hated him so. He had been stranded there his entire life and he wanted out.

Eiri remembered that conversation well.

* * *

"_But if I don't make it out, that's okay too."_

_Eiri chuckled softly. They sat in Shuichi's room, on the bed. Shuichi sat on Eiri's lap, the blonde's arms around his waist. Shuichi reached down and held one of Eiri's hands in his own, stroking it softly. _

"_You just seemed so adamant about getting out though. Why the sudden change?"_

_Shuichi giggled softly. "Well, my mother's here, and I don't work. We couldn't possibly ever afford to move anywhere no matter how much I want to. Plus this is my mother's home. This is the only true home she's ever known."_

_Eiri nodded, watching their hands intertwine with ease. "But don't you want a true home Shuichi?"_

"_I do, one day." He shrugged slightly. "It just doesn't seem like that day will ever arrive quick enough. But as long as it comes sooner or later, then I can be patient."_

_Eiri pressed his lips against Shuichi's temple gently. _

"_You'll have your home someday."_

_Shuichi glanced over his shoulder to Eiri, smiling softly. "Do you really think so?"_

_Eiri grinned. "I know so. Know how?"_

"_How?"_

"_I'll give you a home."_

_Shuichi giggled, kissing Eiri's hand. "You're so sweet Eiri."_

_His golden eyes softened. "Shuichi."_

"_Hm?"_

"_I'm serious."_

_Shuichi turned around and watched the man with gentle amethyst eyes and Eiri wondered how such a beautiful creature could be real. "I'll….we'll make a home. Together."_

_A soft smile spread across Shuichi's face, and he wrapped his arms around Eiri's neck, hugging him tightly. "Thank you Eiri."_

_Eiri wrapped his arms around the other, holding on tight. He never wanted to let go._

* * *

But he did.

And all for what? For anger? Because Shuichi wasn't a woman? Was gender such an issue that Eiri was so willing to sacrifice his happiness just to be politically correct? What the hell did that mean anyway? Eiri always thought politics were stupid. Look at the war. Men killed each other for power so often that the world was forgetting what love was.

Eiri had forgotten what love was.

Love was everything that he felt when he was with Shuichi in Japan. All the laughs they shared, the secret kisses, the smiles, the meals, the steps…all those moments were full of love.

Eiri had forgotten that.

He only hoped he would get another chance for another love with Shuichi. One where they were equal in the relationship. One where they were both happy, and one where there was no such thing as a 'me'. There was only 'us', 'ours'.

That was love.


End file.
